


Shut Up and Listen

by Gadhar



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Boys Kissing, M/M, implied sex, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:00:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/pseuds/Gadhar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The plane crash tore his world apart, brought back feelings he had buried away. He had lost people again, he had lost friends. And once again, it was his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut Up and Listen

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, I'm all about the Grey's world recently. Definitely getting super attached to the show. In particular Owen Hunt, something about the guy has got my interest. I used to hate him but now I kinda love him. Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm the first ever to put Owen and Derek together, at least in published form. I'm all for Marek, believe me, but I can see these to together as well. I mean come on, their wives sleep together sometimes! Anyway here's to possibly being groundbreaking in the world of faniction.  
> P.S. I've also conned the term Derwen- Derek/Owen so I think I deserve the rights to it, right?
> 
> I own nothing but plot.

He walked for hours, the rain pelting down, stinging his cheeks and soaking right through his clothes. They hung heavy on his limbs, a deserved weight that was far less than what he felt appropriate for his punishment.

The lightning crackled in the sky above him, harsh and discordant against the beat of his heart. How he wished he would be struck right now, zapped with a lightning bolt so powerful he wouldn't survive. If there was a God, now would be the time to smite someone.

When his feet, bare and aching, scratched against the doormat he felt a surge of realization. He was at a house, a home, one not his, but Derek's. He had walked to Derek's house.

Some unknown power wrapped around his arm, sending his fist flying at the door, alternating left, right, left again. Busted knuckles, skin cracked and tender as blood welled and streamed down his skin in the rain. What was he doing here?

Then the door opened, framing a weary Derek, his face swathed in shadows. "Doctor..." Derek's voice was low, concerned. _Why does he care?_ "What happened?"

_Why does he care?_

_Why aren't his hands around my throat?_

_His foot in my gut?_

_Why is he even talking to me?_

"I killed him." His voice was firm but had the high pitched tone of a dying cat. Tears were already streaming down his face and he hated himself for that, he had no right to cry, to grieve. "I...k-killed him. I...killed...them. Both.  Just like the others. The war...dead, dying, everywhere. I-"

"No."

"Yes, Derek I- God what did I do? What did I do? What did I DO?" He tugged at his hair, wanting to rip it out, to feel some kind of pain other than the suffocating guilt that clawed at him now, dragging him down.

His knees never hit the concrete, Derek got to him first.

_Let go._

_Please...let go._

He should be left here, washed away in the rain, in the darkness of his mind and heart. Forgotten forever.

But the pattering of the rain stopped, cut off with a thump as Derek pulled him into the house, the door slamming shut behind them. Owen wrapped his arms around himself, trying to ball up, hide away. He thought he could do this. He thought he could take the punishment. But he couldn't, not now when Derek was dragging it out.

Then Derek was pulling at his arms, hands warm and soft yet firm. "Owen, let me help."

"N-no. I should be dead. Derek, why am I not dead? Why are they- why are they gone?"

"Doctor Hunt."

"Why? Why? Why? Why am I alive? Why do I always live? I couldn't save my brothers and I killed Mark and I'm still- why am I still alive? DAMMIT!" He was on his knees already, it was a simple matter to ram his head into the floor, waiting for one blow to be the last. His arms bruised under his grip, fingernails slicing into burning flesh.

"Owen."

_I wanna die._

Let me die.

"Owen, stop."

_I killed them, it should've been me._

"Owen."

_Let me die, just let me._

"OWEN!"

He couldn't fight it, he owed Derek his attention at the very least. He narrowed his eyes, squinting through the tears and blood, searching out Derek's eyes. Looking for the hate.

There was none.

Derek's blue eyes were soft and concerned, brimming with emotion, too much to express."Let me help," he repeated.

Owen numbly let Derek do what he wanted, he knew he should feel the burn of the antiseptic, the tug of bandages around his hands, the prick of needle and sting of the thread as his forehead was stitched. But he couldn't. He just felt empty, confused. Nothing made sense.

"Why don't you hate me? Why aren't you mad?" He sucked back the sobs, steadying his voice.

"I am mad, at the world. At Mark. I don't hate you. I don't blame you. The crash...Owen it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was."

"No. It wasn't. No one blames you, no one but yourself. And you have no right to feel guilty for this."

"But-"

"Shut up, Owen. Just shut up. For once in your goddamned life, shut up and _listen._ I lost Mark, I am not losing you too."

"I...I can't Derek I can't. I can't feel anything anymore but guilt. I can't...I..."

"Let me help, Owen. Let me in." Derek's lips latched onto his, warm, tender, but demanding. Owen froze, his mind whirling. He never thought of Derek like this, well that wasn't entirely true, but it never mattered, not with Meredith, not with Cristina. Mark was the last one to touch him like this, to have that different bond with him that was like no other.

They broke apart, Owen gasping for breath as Derek watched, eyes sparkling. "Let me help, this one time."

"You can't fix things like this, Derek."

"I'm not intending to fix anything. I need you to realize you are not alone, that this was not your fault. I need you to be here. You and I and Mark. We were bonded. He's gone. You can't leave too. It's a one time deal, but you need me right now. And I need you to still be around."

Owen let the words seep through the fog in his mind, trying to understand. He thought he understood but there were just too many emotions too many thoughts to sort through. "Derek...I'm..."

"Just shut up. Stop thinking."

So he did, for once in his goddamned life he did.


End file.
